But... Somehow it didn't turn out like that, This hospital for pets. He hired liars and cheats and corrupt bureaucrats And none of them were vets. The doctors were leading the nurses astray, The fat lazy porters turned patients away, Doctor Robert played golf nearly every day, While running up huge debts.	Warning... So steer well clear of their beastly scheme - This trap for the unwary. Curing your pet could be like a bad dream, Their lack of skill is scary. They use incorrect wood when they check your woodchuck, A mad cow, on wrong drugs, might well run amok, Your limpet with lumps could come badly unstuck. A goose, shedding feathers, will need all its pluck. And you'll know you've certainly run out of luck, When the quack who takes a look at your duck, Says, 'Ooh!, What a lovely canary!'
	Once. . . When Doctor Robert was treating a man For a nasty boil on his bum Things didn't go quite according to plan, Due to too many tots of rum. His aim with the lance was rather cockeyed So, when the patient upped and died, And, before the police could be notified, He moved to Dagenham. So... He'd moved to a town where he wasn't known Then donned a ginger wig, Answered the phone in a deep baritone, Hoping that no one would twig.	He lived like that for a long month or two, Then he suddenly thought, 'I know what I'll do - I'll open a veterinarian zoo.’ And that's just what he did. Next... In a closed down NHS hospital, The doctor set up shop. ‘I'll be just like Doctor Dolittle. There’ll be animal chat non-stop. I'll give the sick a roof over their head, And make quite sure hungry creatures are fed, I'll tuck up ill quadrupeds warm in bed. This place will be the top.'