Stick a tortoise in the oven
With a sauce of whipped horse fly.
An hour at gas mark 7
And you’ll have a tasty pie.


Truss a hare up tightly
In a leek and cheesy jacket.
Grill on both sides lightly
For a scrumptious crisp Welsh Rabbit.


First, find a fish with fingers,
Add the juice of three cows’ lips,
Deep fry with purple fungus
Then serve on chipmunk chips.


Shell three turtle eggs,
Then shave a new-born piglet
Sauté with gecko legs
For a hairy Spanish omelette.
         
        A fat man can often look jolly and nice
          But with Frank that’s a misapprehension.
            He always tells lies -
             he doesn’t think twice,
              And has secrets too nasty to mention.
               For example, his size is due to his vice
             Of munchin’ small creatures for luncheon.
            Such as barbecued mice
           on a bed of white rice,
          With chilli-fried lice to give it some spice,
         Not forgetting, for pudding,
        a beetle choc-ice,
       A menu of Frank’s own invention.

        A fat man, of course,
      can appear nice and jolly,
    Just the sort to be hospital porter.
   But taking on Frank was an act of pure folly,
  Doctor Bob was a lamb to the slaughter.
The patients all saw he was right off his trolley.
He’d end up, like his prey, in hot water.
  Frank soaked salty tit bits in pure alcohol,
    He added ant jelly, the drool of a collie,
      Then poured this hot sauce
        on his green vermicelli
            Which he’d made from a rodent’s aorta.