. Gonzales's hearing is less than the best And he's clearly severely cross-eyed. As far as brains go he's never impressed. Ten times he has failed his driving test. (Twice examiners died!) The licence he showed was a counterfeit. It easily fooled Doctor Bob. With his green boiler suit and his first-aid kit, And a genuine looking certificate, He seemed just the man for the job. 'I'll pay you a generous bonus,' he said, 'For every sick pet you bring in, Especially those with rich owners. And I pay £5 each for blood donors, So, take the ambulance out for a spin.' Gonzales arrived at an accident - A pigeon fell out of a tree. It's feathery skull seemed to have a large dent, And his left-hand wing was obviously bent. 'Stand back,' he said, 'Leave it to me!' But he panicked and, in the confusion, He tied the bird's tail in a splint, And gave it a full blood transfusion, A mistake like having odd shoes on, Which he had, no doubt due to his squint. He shoved the poor bird in the ambulance, Where it flapped up and down on one leg.
				He couldn't make sense of this petulance, But then, after ear-splitting flatulence, It painfully laid an egg. He tore off in the ambulance madly, His aim, the maternity ward. But, as usual, he drove very badly, This deadly trip ended up sadly, As road safety he blindly ignored. He ran down a luckless old hedgehog, As well as two ducks and a stoat, He squashed seven toads playing leapfrog, And whacked an unwatchful watchdog, His leg cocked on a milkfloat. So keen on the creature's revival, He drove through the town like smoke, There was really no chance of survival. The pigeon was Dead On Arrival And the egg, unhappily, broke.