When a kitty kicked the bucket Because of Spanish Influenza, She became a tennis racket And a violin cadenza.		You should be very thankful You're not one of four iguanas That Frank dropped in a tankful Of ravenous piranhas.
When a certain spiny species Ordered Guinness, ‘With a head’, Frank yelled, ‘It’s got rabies!!’ And shot the hedgehog dead.	A Brazilian axolotl Which hadn't even died, Jack stuffed in a bottle Of green formaldehyde.	A duke brought in a pheasant That had lost the power of flight. 'Is the flyin' doctor present? 'Cos I'm shootin' at first light.'
A lame frog was suspicious When he heard the doctor state, 'Frog's legs are delicious. I suggest we amputate!'		A goat at the end of his tether 'Cos the seal was always coughing, Said, 'Let's all club together Then stuff him in a coffin.'
A sickly boa-constrictor Had a nasty looking cyst. 'It's all in the mind,' said the doctor, 'You should see a psychiatrist.’		After drinking too much gin, Nurse Jack's eyes were wonky. For hours she tried to pin The tail back on the donkey.
With a beautiful chihuahua, Nurse was oh so careless. When lighting her cigar. Now the bitch is a Mexican Hairless!	The plastic surgeon urges A nosejob on a rhino. But the animal emerges With a nostril on his elbow.	Two cocks with chickenpox Were taken from the coop, Locked in wooden stocks And attacked with chicken soup.
Anne Fibian brought her toad in To cauterize his warts, But, due to overloading, Now wears surgical supports.	In this gruesome sanatorium For a laugh, a half-cut clerk, In charge of the aquarium, Shoved a croc in with a shark!	To an orange orang-utan Who gave off nasty smells, They gave his skull a trepan: Now he's hearing jungle bells.
Two groggy anacondas Ask the doctor what they've got. For hours he slowly ponders Then ties them in a knot.	I brought my greedy pig in To cure his diarrhoea. They gave him prune juice with a fig in. Phew! What a bad idea!	A tearful crocodile Knew she'd met her Waterloo When she heard Nurse Jack remark, 'I love alligator shoes.'