. Nurse Jack has lied about how she was trained. Her certificate is a phoney. She can’t fix a strain or a foot that is sprained And her stitching is like macaroni. After all of her crimes, she has only remained Because Doctor Bob is her crony. Nurse Jack is somewhat unlucky in love, She’s been married three times over. Her first old man looks down from above. (He’s entombed in the Bow Road Flyover.) Two more are pushing up purple foxgloves In a five acre field in Andover. Now is this the sort of woman you need Caring for God’s sick creatures? All of her patients are rightly agreed That, in spite of a faceful of stitches, You can see each one of her foul dirty deeds Outlined in her facial features. Our advice is - don’t get in the way Of a nurse as wierd as a pink popinjay Or she might put your tit in a tight tourniquet. She likes to harm poor little creatures.